Something changed this summer. It was almost an audible and physical "snap!" that was deeply felt though, oddly, I cannot tell you when exactly it happened. Some time between the third week of June and the second week of August. I think.
We bought a piano. I picked up my guitar. I read novels. Tried to sketch things.
She, I'm convinced, laid the groundwork for the "snap," the change in disposition.
But at some point something's gotta give.
But it was, yet again, a time to connect. With Stephen. With myself. With art. With food.
We ate. Found vegan and gluten free stuff in Paris. People are aghast. PARIS! BREAD! CHEESE! And YOU TWO--VEGAN AND GLUTEN FRE--
What're you gonna do? Bottle of wine on the stairs of Sacre Coeur. That's what.
It was awesome.
But I made myself be reasonable. I worked. I've got two new preps even though you're not "supposed" to do new preps in the first two years. But I'm easily bored. And despite my newfound, devil-may-care confidence, I'm still a bit too prone to say yes to stuff.
Angela will keep me on the straight and narrow, I'm sure.
Could it all fall apart? Certainly.
But until then you can ground yourself for the moment in your own biology no matter what is happening. Because you carry your breath every moment of every day. It carries you. It won't carry you indefinitely. But it can bring you back. To this moment. To deal with what is happening right here. Right now.
My second piece, a co-authored article with my dissertation chair, Dr. Lucía Durá is headed out the door soon.
Teaching a new prep that is right in my wheelhouse yet stretches me has been a revelation. Perhaps the first time I have fully and unequivocally enjoyed teaching a class. Inspired by my colleague Kendall I changed the way I provide feedback. It's still a pain. It's still difficult. I still put it off. But it's now much more in line with who I am as a teacher and a thinker. So little weights have been dropped along the way.